Friends,
Many of you asked whether a shorter version of this morning’s open letter was available.
It is.
I remain cautious about encouraging anyone to send something like this into a relationship I do not understand. You know your family, your circumstances, and your safety better than I ever could.
But you asked for the resource, and I trust you to decide whether sharing it is wise.
You are free to send it, draw from it, or put its words into your own. You are equally free to read it for yourself and leave it here. I am not asking anyone to jeopardize their safety or carry responsibility for another person’s awakening.
The shorter letter begins below.
Donald Trump will never know what you gave up for him.
He will not remember the argument that ended your relationship with your daughter. He will not notice that your son stopped calling, that holidays became strained, or that your grandchildren are growing up without you. He will not lie awake wondering when affection turned into courtesy and conversation became a careful exchange of hellos and goodbyes.
But you will know.
If someone who loves you sent this, please read it before deciding it is an attack. They probably hesitated. They know what happens when Donald Trump enters a family conversation. They know the familiar arguments and the silence afterward. Sending this risks another wound, and they sent it anyway.
That is how much they still want you.
This letter is not asking you to become a Democrat. It is asking whether any politician should be allowed to cost you people who actually know your name, have sat beside you in hospitals, celebrated your birthdays, buried loved ones with you, and still hope there is a way home.
What Your Support Communicates
A vote does not reveal everything about a person. People vote for complicated reasons, and I know many who supported particular policies while disliking the man.
Your family cannot see the private calculation you made in the voting booth. They see the choice that came out of it.
They do not know how you weighed grocery prices against January 6, judicial appointments against cruelty toward immigrants, or abortion against the treatment of women. They know only that none of it was enough to cost Donald Trump your support.
You did not intend to tell an LGBTQ child that their dignity mattered less. You did not intend to tell an immigrant relative that their safety ranked below another concern. You did not intend to tell an assault survivor that even a jury’s finding can be excused when the man involved promises the right policies.
They may have heard those things anyway.
Donald Trump maintained a well-documented social relationship for roughly fifteen years with disgraced financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, who sexually exploited underage girls. The full extent of that relationship deserves rigorous investigation and complete public disclosure.
The country does not have to wait for that investigation to decide whether Trump deserves public trust.
A civil jury heard testimony and examined evidence before finding Trump liable for sexually abusing E. Jean Carroll and defaming her. Trump appealed. The United States Court of Appeals upheld the verdict, and the Supreme Court declined to hear his challenge and later denied rehearing, leaving the judgment intact.
That should be enough. Period.
We also have Trump’s own words. He spoke cavalierly about entering pageant dressing rooms while contestants were changing. He described kissing women without waiting and grabbing them sexually because his celebrity allowed him to do it.
We do not need to invent allegations or wait for another file to be released. The record already before us is enough to conclude that Donald Trump should not be entrusted with public power.
Your daughters see the standard you have applied. They remember what you taught them about character, dignity, responsibility, and the kind of man who could be trusted around women. When you continue supporting Trump, they may wonder whether you would believe and protect them if doing so required you to confront a powerful man you admired.
You are probably answering, “Of course I would.”
I believe you. Your daughter probably believes you too. She is still left with a painful question:
“If something happened to me, would you choose me over him?”
How the Movement Keeps You From Hearing Them
There was a time when much of this would have been immediately disqualifying to you.
You did not wake up one morning and decide that lying no longer mattered, cruelty had become strength, or the Constitution should bend around the desires of one man. The standards moved by inches while your attention was fixed on the next emergency.
You can hear the result in a phrase that may already have entered your mind: “Trump Derangement Syndrome.”
Someone who loves you works up the courage to explain that your political choices have frightened or wounded them. Before one concern is weighed, their experience is reduced to three letters: TDS. If they speak calmly, they are obsessed. If they become angry after years of feeling unheard, their anger proves they are deranged. If they stop trying, their distance becomes further evidence that politics ruined them.
The label can absorb every possible response. Once criticism of a leader is treated as evidence of mental illness, nothing said against that leader is ever allowed to count.
Think of a smoke alarm. The first blast sends you running because someone you love may be in danger. Now imagine that it never stops. It sounds while you eat, work, and try to sleep. Eventually, you pull out the battery simply to function.
That is what relentless scandal has done to our moral attention. The first shocks us. The tenth irritates us. The hundredth earns a shrug and the words, “That’s just Trump being Trump.” Conduct that would have ended another politician’s career becomes part of the scenery.
Your family remembers what used to offend you. Their alarm is still sounding.
Calling it derangement may make the house feel quieter. It does not mean there is no fire.
They Remember What You Taught Them About Jesus
There is a good chance that you helped give the person who sent this their Christian faith.
You carried them into church before they could walk. You folded their small hands and taught them their first prayer. You bought a Bible, helped them dress for Christmas Mass, or answered wonderfully inconvenient questions about God from the driver’s seat.
You taught them that Jesus welcomes the stranger, loves the poor, tells the truth before rulers, and pays attention to the people the powerful would rather ignore. You taught them to apologize when they hurt someone and to understand that character is revealed by what we do when nobody is watching.
They believed you.
That may be why this has become so painful. They learned from you that truth is not negotiable, cruelty is not strength, and power does not make a person righteous. Now they are trying to reconcile those lessons with your support for Donald Trump.
They remember what you taught them. That is precisely the problem.
When they ask how this can be reconciled with following Jesus, they may be appealing to the faith you gave them. Please do not punish them for remembering what you taught them.
The cross is not a mascot for American power. It is the sign of a Savior who rejected domination, stood with the least powerful, told the truth before rulers, and gave Himself away rather than demanding that others sacrifice themselves for Him.
No political movement is entitled to carry that cross as cover for conduct that contradicts it.
You Remain Free
Leaving MAGA does not require you to become an enthusiastic Democrat. I am certainly not one.
You may remain conservative. You may vote candidate by candidate, support an independent, leave a race blank, or decide that a particular Democrat is the more responsible choice. You do not have to exchange unquestioning loyalty to one party for unquestioning loyalty to another.
You remain free. No politician, party, television network, church leader, or movement has an unlimited claim on your loyalty. They are not entitled to your vote, your money, your attention, your conscience, or your relationships simply because you once supported them.
Those things belong to you. You may withdraw them whenever the person demanding them has abused your trust or violated your principles. Changing your mind in response to what you have witnessed is what free people do.
Donald Trump speaks constantly about loyalty, but the loyalty he demands travels in only one direction. You are expected to defend him, excuse him, finance him, vote for his candidates, purchase his schlock, distrust anyone who challenges him, and sometimes sacrifice relationships with people who have loved you for decades.
That is an extraordinary amount to surrender to a man who would not recognize you if you passed him on the street.
There are worse things than being politically homeless for a while. One of them is remaining in a political home that requires you to surrender your conscience as the price of belonging.
You can leave MAGA without abandoning your values. You may discover that leaving is how you begin reclaiming them.
Reach Back
Donald Trump does not know your name. He does not know which child stopped calling, which holiday became unbearable, or which grandchild is growing up outside your life. Your loyalty may help him retain power. His loyalty will never rebuild what you lost.
The person who sent you this still cares deeply about what happens to you.
Ask them one question: “What has my support for Donald Trump communicated to you?”
Then listen. Do not explain your vote, defend the president, mention Democrats, or correct their interpretation. Let the person you love tell you what has happened inside them. You may disagree with parts of what they say. Some of it may feel unfair. You may also hear what no television host, politician, or social-media personality could tell you, because none of those people knows your family.
If you do not know how to begin, send this:
I love you more than I love any politician or political movement. I know my choices have hurt our relationship, and I want to understand how. I will listen without arguing. If you are willing, I would be grateful for the chance to begin repairing what has been damaged.
One conversation will not erase the years. The person you love may be guarded or unwilling to answer immediately because hope has disappointed them before. Respect their boundaries. Let trust return at the pace established by the person who was hurt.
Donald Trump will not be present for the next birthday, wedding, funeral, Christmas dinner, or ordinary Sunday afternoon when the empty chair becomes difficult to ignore.
Your family will be there, or they will not.
Someone who loves you has thrown the line.
For the love of God, reach back.
If You Are Sending This to Someone You Love
Send it privately, never during an argument or in a family group chat. Do not add, “See, I told you so,” and do not demand an immediate response.
You might write:
I love you. I am sending this because I want a relationship with you, not another fight. You do not have to answer today. Please read it when you are ready.
Then give them room. You are offering a way back. They will have to decide whether to take it.
A fuller documented edition is available for anyone who wants the complete argument.