Over the last year, many of you have written to me privately with questions about faith, prayer, doubt, and the strange, beautiful task of trying to follow Christ in a chaotic world.
Some of those questions deserve more than a quick reply in a comment thread.
So today we begin something new.
Welcome to Mail Bag from the Margins, where I answer a few questions from readers each week as honestly and pastorally as I can.
I’ll be posting in our Substack Conversation each week to ask what’s on your mind, and will select a few to respond to… please be sure to check that out and be included!
So, without further ado, Let’s open the bag.
Our First Question Comes from Donna
I would love your take on spiritual discernment in decision making. I’m awfully good at thinking that something that pops in my head as an answer to a dilemma is God sent. Like practical solution type things. But how do I really know?
Donna, the fact that you’re asking this question already shows a level of spiritual maturity.
Christians have wrestled with this question for two thousand years. Even the saints struggled to distinguish between God’s voice, their own thoughts, and sometimes plain old anxiety.
The Desert Fathers spoke about this often. These early monks withdrew into the wilderness in part because they wanted to hear God more clearly. Yet when you read their writings, you quickly discover that they spent enormous amounts of time trying to discern which thoughts came from God, which came from their own minds, and which came from darker places.
So if you find yourself wondering about this, you are in very good company.
Now here is the part where you may not like my answer.
In many situations, it simply doesn’t matter.
A circumstance in our lives might be a test or puzzle placed before us by God. It might also just be ordinary life unfolding. Scripture contains both.
The Bible is full of moments where people are tested. Tested by God. Tested by angels. Tested by Satan. Tested in the wilderness.
But Scripture is just as full of moments that are simply life. Circumstances arise. Decisions must be made. Problems appear. Sometimes solutions come quickly, sometimes they do not.
And yes, every now and then God intervenes in dramatic and unmistakable ways.
But most of the time, life unfolds in much quieter and more ordinary ways.
The truth is, there is no reliable method for knowing with certainty which is which, at least none that I have ever discovered.
That does not mean God is absent from those ordinary moments.
Very often the opposite is true.
Over time, as we form our hearts in the teachings of Christ, the Spirit works quietly within us. Our instincts begin to bend toward mercy. Our conscience becomes more attentive. The voice of the Gospel becomes more familiar.
In that sense, sometimes the very thought that arises in our mind, the impulse to respond with patience, generosity, or compassion, may itself be the fruit of God’s work already taking place within us.
Not a thunderbolt from heaven, but the quiet shaping of a disciple’s heart.
So what do we do?
We treat every circumstance in life as an opportunity for discipleship.
Rather than trying to decode whether a situation is a divine test or simply the unfolding of life, we focus on responding in the way Christ taught us to respond.
We anchor ourselves in love of God and love of neighbor.
We turn the other cheek.
We go the second mile.
We respond to the needs of the people around us.
We internalize the strange and beautiful logic of the Gospel, that the last shall be first and the first shall be last.
If we form our hearts in that way, the question of whether something is a test from God or simply life becomes much less important.
Our task is simply to respond faithfully.
There is a parable that captures this beautifully. In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, the wealthy man finds himself separated by a great chasm because he ignored the suffering of the poor man lying at his gate. From that place he asks if he can go back and warn his family.
But the reply he receives is striking.
“They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.”
In other words, the guidance has already been given.
We already know the shape of a faithful life.
Love God.
Love your neighbor.
Care for the poor.
Walk humbly before God.
If we devote ourselves to that path, we will rarely go very far wrong.
Because over time something beautiful begins to happen.
Our hearts are slowly shaped by the Gospel. Our instincts begin to reflect the mercy of Christ. What once required careful discernment begins to flow more naturally from a life rooted in faith.
And in that quiet transformation, we may discover that the question was never simply whether a thought came from God.
The deeper question is whether our lives are being shaped by Him.
Our Second Question comes from The Wahine
I used to feel like I asked God for only those things out of my control. Do you think we should ask Him about anything?
The Wahine, that’s actually a very thoughtful question.
Christians sometimes get themselves into trouble because we quietly absorb the idea that prayer is a kind of spiritual wish-granting machine. If we say the right words, with enough faith, perhaps God will rearrange events in our favor.
In my experience, that approach to prayer almost always leads to disappointment. Life simply does not cooperate with that model.
Prayer, at its heart, is something much simpler and much deeper.
Prayer is communication with God.
We share our lives with Him.
We worship.
We express gratitude.
We confess our failures and ask forgiveness.
We pray for the good of others.
And yes, sometimes we do ask for blessings for ourselves.
Scripture certainly gives us permission to do that.
But over time many Christians begin to discover something important.
God has already given humanity an astonishing amount.
Wisdom to navigate life.
The capacity to love.
The ability to endure hardship.
Communities that can support one another.
And a Gospel that shows us what a faithful life looks like.
Very often what we ask God to remove from our lives are the very things that form us, sorrow, struggle, uncertainty. Much of our prayer can come from a desire to escape pain or control outcomes.
But the spiritual tradition of the Church has always been a little more sober about the nature of this world.
As the old liturgy reminds us, all that is in this world eventually passes away. In the end, as Scripture says, it is all dust and ashes.
So in my own prayer life, I find that I rarely ask God to change outcomes for myself.
I do pray fervently for others’ outcomes. And if I’m being honest, perhaps that’s something for me to reflect on more deeply myself.
But when I pray for my own life, my prayer tends to look a little different.
I ask God for clear vision.
A heart filled with love.
The courage to do what is right.
And zeal for the kingdom of God.
Because if those things are present in a person’s life, then they already possess everything they truly need.
Everything else, as they say, is icing on the cake.
A Final Thought
One of the quiet blessings of writing this newsletter has been the conversations that grow around it. Many of you write with thoughtful questions, struggles, and reflections about faith, prayer, and the strange task of trying to follow Christ in complicated times.
And I’m grateful for every one of them.
The Christian life was never meant to be lived in isolation. From the earliest days of the Church, believers learned by walking together, asking questions, sharing wisdom, and sometimes simply admitting that we are all figuring this out one step at a time.
So if you have a question about faith, prayer, Scripture, the spiritual life, or anything we wrestle with as Christians trying to live faithfully in this world, feel free to send it along.
You can reply directly to this email or leave a comment below.
I read every message that comes in, even if I can’t always respond personally.
And who knows… your question might appear in a future Mail Bag from the Margins.
Until next time, may the Lord give you clear vision, a generous heart, and the courage to walk faithfully in the path set before you.
Help Keep This Community Growing
If you’ve been reading Message from the Margins for a while, you’ve probably noticed something.
This space has become more than just a newsletter.
It’s become a conversation.
Every week people write in with questions about faith, doubt, prayer, Scripture, politics, grief, hope, and the complicated task of trying to follow Jesus in the real world. And together we wrestle with those questions honestly, thoughtfully, and with compassion.
That kind of community is rare.
There are plenty of places on the internet where religion is used as a weapon, or where faith is reduced to slogans and easy answers.
That’s not what we’re doing here.
Here we slow down.
We ask better questions.
We take Scripture seriously.
We wrestle with the teachings of Jesus and what they mean for our lives today.
And we do it together.
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Paid subscribers help make everything here possible. They support the writing, the research, the pastoral care that goes into answering questions like the ones you saw today, and the ongoing work of building a thoughtful Christian community rooted in compassion and truth.
Your support allows this ministry to keep growing and reaching people who are searching for a deeper, more honest faith.
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And whether you’re a free reader or a supporter, I’m grateful that you’re part of this community.
We’re walking this road together.